The Burn of Creation.....Together

Afternoon musings............................
I have a 6th sense, its keen and sharp and has never failed me once.
I sense evil afoot in the form of naricissism.
It wasnt hard to pick out, you just have to be more aware to see it.
Why do some people push the envelope in life. Push it to the point that they want to test themselves. Going up again evil time and time again.
Fighting the allure instead of the guns and war?
I used to be one of these people, sometimes I still sense myself pushing that envelope, but Ive been bloodied and scarred too much to jump back into a war with my soul. Im enjoying the sun.
When one pushes the envelope so far, pushing themselves to the brink of jumping over that edge, we tend to forget who else we may be pushing away.
You never see it till its too late, you step back from that ledge and turn around and you realize, the reason it has gotten so deathly quiet is you have finally once again pushed your relationships to the point of extinction.
Is it selfish?? Is it self serving?? Is it the only way for you to feel anything worth while??
Is the usual too usual for you, do you crave the searing burn of the war.
Just one question, is it worth the loss, can you grieve once more in life over the death of something you have killed.
I think the only way to make it work and if you do make it work you are lucky, is to invite your love into the war with you. Fight together and go into the fire.
Love is the only thing that will ever win any war.