Twas the Week Before New Years

Twas the week before New Years

Twas the night after christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring they had all gotten soused
The dried sausage was hung in the basement with care
In hopes that the relatives would come by for the New Year
With I in my silk lounge pants and mom planning the macaroni
We had all settled down even loud Uncle Tony
When out in the driveway there arose such a racket
I sprang from my lounge chair, stubbed my toe and screamed Oh Fuck It!
Away to the window mom ran with her shot gun
Ripped open the double hungs and said "I cant believe he has come"
The moon shone so bright over the New York skyline
All I could here was a cell phone and the sound of a Jersey whine
Then what did my wandering eyes see come through the door
But that fucking rat cousin Joey and his side cart whore (thats for you Karen)
Seems his sentence was up the night before last
And he needed a place to stay and a little cash
So I in my silk lounge pants and mom with her roni's
Turned the whole situation over to the Great Uncle Tony
See when problems arise in this family like this
Its nice to be able to make them go sleep with the fish.
Uncle Tony made a call on his cell phone that night
And we never saw that rat cousin Joey again after the dawn of day light
With the holidays over and the New Year just down the line
We planned out a party and made us some wine.
The kids all came home and the cousins from Vegas
We had a good time and remembered the men who made us.
Its a new year we sang with a jug in our hands
365 days to pillage the lands
So from my family to yours during this holiday time
I invite you all here to share in our wine
Just excuse the yelling and swearing you will hear
Its just us Italians Bringing in the New Year.
Written by Amy D. for my crazy family