When the holidays get stressful the blogs get stupider
Vinnie the Underbite Humungo
All names have been changed to protect the guilty
I had a dream last night, Ill blame the first part on Karen, I was in a mall in Jersey, I was sitting with my girlfriend Angela (I have no girlfriend Angela), we were sitting droning on about our lives in a typical Jersey whine. Angela was bitching about her boyfriend Johnny Jr. and how he treats her like shit and didnt buy her those shoes she wanted, then she was going on and on about his mother, or as she put it, mothah, and how all she ever does is break Joey' Jr's balls about how since his fathah died, Joey Jr doesnt go to church enough, this is a women who goes to church 4 times a week, and as Angela puts it, when she dies and they finally pry that Rosary out of her hand they will discovah that it has grown to her fingers.. Joey goes once she says, thats enough, after all he is a busy man.
So there we are in front of the Cinnabun sipping our cappachino and hashing out all of our problems with a good shopping spree, and nobody notices right behind us is Vinnie the Underbite Humungo, he is in fact sitting there in his trademart "bathrobe" and with none other then Joey Bag a Canoli. He must have overheard Angela bitching about Johnny's mom and being Johnny's mom and him are 3rd cousins once removed Vinnie of course is going to show respect to Johnny's mom and make it a point to let Angela know that its just not right to disrespect your elders, especially the women who gave birth to his 4th cousin once removed.
So he stands up, and Angela spots him and gets this look on her face like "oh shit" and she stands up and starts to back away but her high heel gets caught in the chair and she goes to fall, so Vinnie the Underbite Humungo grabs her by her arms to catch her, but at the same time comes around with a salt shaker and smashes her in the face, throws her down on the ground, and spits at her feet and says, Johnnie aint marrying you, I wont let it happen you bitch, no 4th cousin once removed of mine is gonna be saddled with a ball and chain like you for the rest of his life.
She is laying there bleeding, broken nose, cracked teeth, too afraid to cry, to afraid to move, and to afraid to even talk.
And as he is walking away he turns to me and says, " hey sweetheart I didnt see you there, tell your husband I said hello, and dont hang around with this whore anymore".
That was the last time I saw Angela.
Then I woke up with a strange craving for Canoli, and pasta.
In memory of Vinnie the Chin Gigante may he RIP
All names have been changed to protect the guilty
I had a dream last night, Ill blame the first part on Karen, I was in a mall in Jersey, I was sitting with my girlfriend Angela (I have no girlfriend Angela), we were sitting droning on about our lives in a typical Jersey whine. Angela was bitching about her boyfriend Johnny Jr. and how he treats her like shit and didnt buy her those shoes she wanted, then she was going on and on about his mother, or as she put it, mothah, and how all she ever does is break Joey' Jr's balls about how since his fathah died, Joey Jr doesnt go to church enough, this is a women who goes to church 4 times a week, and as Angela puts it, when she dies and they finally pry that Rosary out of her hand they will discovah that it has grown to her fingers.. Joey goes once she says, thats enough, after all he is a busy man.
So there we are in front of the Cinnabun sipping our cappachino and hashing out all of our problems with a good shopping spree, and nobody notices right behind us is Vinnie the Underbite Humungo, he is in fact sitting there in his trademart "bathrobe" and with none other then Joey Bag a Canoli. He must have overheard Angela bitching about Johnny's mom and being Johnny's mom and him are 3rd cousins once removed Vinnie of course is going to show respect to Johnny's mom and make it a point to let Angela know that its just not right to disrespect your elders, especially the women who gave birth to his 4th cousin once removed.
So he stands up, and Angela spots him and gets this look on her face like "oh shit" and she stands up and starts to back away but her high heel gets caught in the chair and she goes to fall, so Vinnie the Underbite Humungo grabs her by her arms to catch her, but at the same time comes around with a salt shaker and smashes her in the face, throws her down on the ground, and spits at her feet and says, Johnnie aint marrying you, I wont let it happen you bitch, no 4th cousin once removed of mine is gonna be saddled with a ball and chain like you for the rest of his life.
She is laying there bleeding, broken nose, cracked teeth, too afraid to cry, to afraid to move, and to afraid to even talk.
And as he is walking away he turns to me and says, " hey sweetheart I didnt see you there, tell your husband I said hello, and dont hang around with this whore anymore".
That was the last time I saw Angela.
Then I woke up with a strange craving for Canoli, and pasta.
In memory of Vinnie the Chin Gigante may he RIP
posted by A Farce called Life at 8:30 AM
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